On Again, Off Again

Photo on 5-20-19 at 3.13 PM.jpg

On again off again…… Hello Readers! Those of you being real people and those of you being robot algorithms subscribing to random pages to pass as a more authentic looking bot. I am back! I have actually been putting in some serious work since November and getting back into my groove thang again.

So, having been 823 days since I last posted on this blog, you probably know I have not been doing very good on my goals. You may even assume it lost all control of myself and got way out of hand. You lucky reader would be correct!

In a rare moment, I will be opening the comments on this post so you can jump down there and take a guess at what my all time worse weigh in was. The winner gets to be right, and since this is a free blog run with no budget the best I can offer you is a video congratulation to the winner. That will be posted on youtube for as long as youtube keeps their servers running.

But yeah, it got worse. Depression, partially. Work stress, you better believe it. But really it was a comb of low effort, poor choices, and my incredible Withings scale breaking. (it was 11 years old or so, one of the first Withings smart scales ever made).

As the depression got to its worst, I had decided if I ever weigh more than a certain amount, that would be the day I would kill myself. Well, I blew past that number and decided instead of being so dramatic, that I would open up to my wife. I sat and talked with her at length about my concerns, feelings, fears, doubts, and that I really and truly needed her support. She said yes. She has since been my #1 fan and my entire support structure for getting my shit together.

Sorry if that was too dark. I just keep it real, cause I don’t know any other way to be. Fear not though my trusty readers. I am doing so much better mentally these six months later. I have taken strides to increase my daily baseline activity. I have gotten better about meal choices and boxing some for later, no longer need to completely clear my plate (something that was drilled into my brain growing up). We have been cooking at home more often than not, and I have been dabbling in Intermittent Fasting. All these and more will be subjects of upcoming posts. I may even delve into some work stress topics. As well as share with you some of my motivators. Like my two amazing cats, my super-wife, and the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

So again, the comments are open, I never do this, so please don’t make me regret it.

sincerely, M